Breaking Natural Hair Rules

Breaking natural hair rules
What?!?! You didn’t know there was a natural hair committee that got together and created all the natural hair rules along with disciplinary action if you did not follow these rules?????

Ok… I hope that statement isn’t true!
What I will tell you is what I DO KNOW! I KNOW that there are NO rules when it comes to your natural hair journey. If there are rules, believe me they were definitely made to be broken!

* My Story *
I started off my natural hair journey clueless. I didn’t even know I was going natural, I had never heard the term “natural hair”. Once I started the transition, I was confused on why my hair was starting to appear curly. Sad huh??? Anyways, once I made it to almost two years I had become frustrated with my hair and with only the grace of God found Youtube. I was so close to relaxing my hair, I literally had purchased the relaxers and was getting ready to mix it up. Youtube gave me so much information on my hair. Who knew that there were so many beautiful and amazing women teaching others how to care for and manage their natural hair. I was taking it all in. I was on Youtube for hours everyday. I found the blogs and started reading those religiously. I packed my head with tons of information.

* The Problem *
It was so much information I had no clue what to do with it. I was still not progressing as much as I would have liked with my hair, and I still felt slightly stuck. Did I mention the frustration? Everything started to seem so complex. The products and methods I would try hardly ever turned out like the person who was demonstrating. I remembered thinking something has definitely got to be wrong with my natural hair. It’s damaged, it’s not for me, my hair will never grow, it’s ugly, these are just some of the things that went through my head. There was nothing planned or organized about the way I was trying to manage my hair. I was following these different rules that were not working for me. It’s even more frustrating when the rules come from different people and they start to contradict themselves. You must hold your head at a 90 degree angle when washing, oh no you must hold your head at a 75 degree angle when washing. What? Who’s right? What rules do I follow?
How do I know what is going to work for my hair??? Then I finally got it… BREAK THE RULES!

* Rebelling *
When I made it to two years natural things started to slowly but surely change for me. On my two year natural hair anniversary I broke my first “natural hair rule”. I used HEAT! (gasp) I did my first blow out since being natural. Let me tell you it was extremely beautiful, but not only that I discovered how much easier it was for me to manage my natural hair. I added regular blow drying into my regimen. I eventually was blow drying 1-2 times a month. I started consistently twisting after my blow dry and also bunning. With this combination of things my hair started to transform. It was a great moment, because I had finally found something that worked for ME. I started making my own rules. I threw out products I rarely used, I chose my favorites and stuck to them. I created a simple regimen that would work for MY lifestyle and MY personal taste and preferences. My hair was better than it had ever been my entire life!

* What I learned *
There is no one size fits all when it come to many things in life, this includes our “natural hair. If you want to truly master your hair, I definitely recommend reading blogs, read books, watch Youtube videos, but only take what you need. You have to take the information and personalize it. There are some people who can do whatever they want to their hair and it will grow down to their knee caps. There are also those of us who struggle a bit through the process. I have had setbacks, I know what it is like to have those days where the hair is not doing what you want it to do. The thing is, no matter how much advice someone gives YOU on how to fix YOUR hair, no one knows YOUR hair better than YOU! As a blogger and vlogger I can give you tips, tricks on how to manage your hair, but unfortunately I don’t have the formula to YOUR perfect hair, and I am not sure how many people actually do if any. What I do have is the formula to MY perfect hair. I wash it, I condition it, I style it, I check it. I don’t even remember the last time I let someone else in my hair. So, there is no possible way anyone knows my hair better than me. This same principle applies to you and your hair. Spend time with your hair. Find out what makes it respond. What products it likes, which ones don’t do anything for it all. What styling techniques work best? You basically want to build a relationship with you hair.

5 Steps To Building A Good Relationship With Your Hair

* Quick Info *
Remember to keep it as simple as possible. Who says you HAVE to get all the latest and most expensive products? Who says you HAVE to wear a particular hairstyle to maintain healthy natural hair? Who says you can’t enjoy or have fun with your natural hair? Who says you have to follow any of these rules? Create your own rules based off of your personal experience with YOUR natural hair.

Good luck on your journey! I hope this helps and inspires!

If you would like to discuss this more in detail or if you have any other questions about natural hair. Click The link below! I look forward to speaking with you! Google Helpout - Natural Hair ———————————————
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You Are Better Than Average – Happy New Year!

So, it’s the end of December and it is that time where everyone is deciding what they want to do different for the next year. I know it is becoming “unpopular” for people to make New Years Resolutions now, so I won’t use the term. What I will say though is,  I personally don’t feel like there is anything wrong with admitting that you didn’t do all of the things that you wanted this year, so you plan to tackle those things again for the next year. Now, you don’t have to wait until next year, you can start TODAY! WAIT, after you finish reading the rest of this! LOL!

So, in November I was really enjoying ET The Hip Hop Preacher’s series on “Allergic To Average”. The reason why I bring this up, is because I think this is why most people have begun to despise the whole idea of “New Years resolutions”. It becomes this vicious non productive cycle of halfway planning and not implementing. A lot of talking with zero action. You start the beginning of the year with all of these goals and by the end of the year only completing one. When do you stop being okay with “okay”.?!?

I’ve spent a lot of this year pushing myself passed limits in ways that I never thought possible. Every single day, I made it my duty to make myself uncomfortable. It should hurt, I should be tired, I should feel like I have given every inch of of me! I want to tell you, because of this, I’ve done things that I NEVER thought I could or would ever do. You would be amazed at how powerful you  are, and how you CAN make your dreams come true, if you STOP being average. Average is easy, EVERYONE does it. To live an extraordinary life push yourself to extraordinary limits!


I hope and I pray this inspires you!


Alicia James ❤❤❤

October 2013 “My Focus” – ❤ Inspiration ❤

This month’s Focus:

Fulfilling Your Purpose to Inspire Other To Fulfill Theirs
I have spent most of this entire year trying to figure out where all of the things in my life were leading me  to. I’ve been trying to figure out how I could serve others and contribute something more to the world. It’s so easy to want something for yourself, but not so easy to give and want for others.
I feel like I am slowly but surely opening up to the things that God has for me.
I will be focusing this month on fulfilling my purpose and inspiring others to fulfill their purpose.
Join me by taking these small steps below for the month of October!
1. Stop wasting times with things you no longer have a passion for, or things that take up your time with no real purpose
2. Focus on your goals, if what you do everyday doesn’t lead to where you are trying to go….re evaluate.
2. Commit to the plan, and when you get off don’t punish yourself by quitting, get up and get back on track.
4. Share – If you are working on an amazing goal in your life, what is the point if you don’t’ encourage and inspire others. Tell people about your plans, and the things you are working on. Most people get that little tingle in their spine, and it motivates them to do the same.

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