Love and Natural Hair

Love and Natural Hair

For the month of love what better time to tell the story of how my husband fell in love with the new me.

We decided to write this short story together, one part coming from me, and then his personal thoughts on my transition to natural hair.

Enjoy!

Alicia James:

I still remember the day when I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror playing in my hair. I was really intrigued with my new curly coily hair. I looked at my husband and told him how weird I thought my hair was. I started to imagine what it would look like without the straight pieces of lifeless hair. I want to tell you that when I stopped getting relaxers, I didn’t know that meant I was going natural. I had no idea that my natural hair was different from my relaxed hair. I was really confused by the changes happening with my hair. I told my husband how I was thinking about cutting off the straight ends to see what my hair would look like. My husband looked at me, gave me that million dollar smile I love, and says, “Go for it!” He says this over and over again. The finality of it made me a little nervous and I asked him was he sure! Oh, from that look in his eye he was very sure! I whipped the scissors out and yes, I started cutting and chopping away at my hair. When I was done, I was left with a teeny weenie fro.  I stared in the mirror and honestly remembered an overwhelming feeling of relief. I didn’t know it would feel this way, amazing! Then I also started to think what in the world did I just do? I just chopped my hair off. There were so many different emotions going through me, but I liked it! For some strange reason….I knew things were going to be different. I looked over to my husband, and said “So babe, what do you think?”

Kelly James:

Without hesitation I replied “I love it”! I actually did love it, but deep down inside I couldn’t help but to think what was to come. When I met Alicia she didn’t own a pair of tennis shoes and wouldn’t be caught dead without makeup.  I always encouraged her to embrace her natural beauty, relax and enjoy life. Her doing the big chop was a huge step. Before cutting her hair she made several changes and removed many masks that covered her insecurities. My theory is that cutting her hair represented the final mask.

I knew she had either done something that would change her life forever or something she would regret and run to the nearest wig store.  During the upcoming months she went through a rollercoaster of emotions but as her confidence and strength grew so did her hair. I love my wife unconditionally but seeing her grow to love every aspect of herself made me love her even more.

So, what does the love in your life think about your natural hair?

 

 

 

 

Find more quick and easy natural hair tips and videos on MsAliciaJames.com

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10 thoughts on “Love and Natural Hair

  1. My husband hates my natural hair. I big chopped in 2010. I knew it would be a challenge for him because he dislikes short hair. Not that my hair has ever been really long. When my hair was relaxed, it never grew past my neck. When I started wearing a TWA he thought it made me look too harsh. Fast forward to 2013 and my hair has grown significantly. When I stretch my hair, it comes nearly to my collar bone. My hair is more versatile and I have worn many different styles. I have become more confident in my natural beauty, but my husband still does not approve. So, I’ve learned to just accept it and not to let it bother me. He’ll come around eventually. At least that’s what I keep telling myself.

  2. You know, I always say we can’t get mad at the ones around us who don’t accept the new look immediately. The truth is they may never like, but we know they love us, and I seriously doubt if they truly do, they are going to turn their back on us over a little hair. When my friends hated my hair, I didn’t take it personal at all. 🙂

  3. My husband loves it! He has been with me through all my relaxer years, through my braids and kinky twists when I was toying with cutting my hair. Going natural was something I had toyed with and researched for a couple of years. I hated the way that my hair, even though it was long, was so lifeless and straight. But every time I kept going back to get relaxers because I was afraid of how to handle my natural hair. Finally after getting what would be my last relaxer in 2010, I decided to just see what I could do with my hair without getting it relaxed. My husband was so supportive the whole time. Finally after transitioning for 11 months I made the cut in 2011. One night after washing my hair, i was looking at the curly texture under the lifeless strands and I started snipping away. I followed a two-strand twist video on you tube and that was that. My hubby loves my natural hair and my new found confidence. He has become quite the expert on the subject which if funny seeing as how he’s as white as can be.

  4. My husband hated my big chop. I’ve always had long, beautiful hair, but I’d been relaxed since the age of 5. When my husband and I met, my hair was relaxed and he loved how it flowed. So naturally when I even started entertaining the idea of cutting my hair, he was not trying to hear it. I pleaded and I pleaded and he finally said, “Okay, do what you want, you’re going to do it anyway.” And I did. When I revealed the finished product, he was not happy, he was so mad that he didn’t say one word, he didn’t speak to me for a day. I also faced criticism from my mom and sister who are my closest friends. But I didn’t let anyone make me feel bad for my decision. It was my hair, and it was what I wanted, and I owned it. That was in Nov 2010, and now in 2013, my husband still doesn’t like it. He doesn’t say anything, but he never compliments me, no matter how I wear my hair, and when I ask him why, he only reminds me that he liked it better relaxed and long, not shrunken and kinky. It kind of hurts but I’m too confident to let that keep me from anything I want to do. I am exploring different hairstyles, and I do get kind of bored with it at times, but it’s mine and I love it.

  5. Beautiful story! I am so happy you shared your experience. Some people think that they have to force their significant other to love it. I think trying to force it on him, will make him hate it even more. If he you loves you, he will not leave you over hair. Your husband has stuck with you even though he still hasn’t adjusted to the new hairstyle, but it’s okay. Like you said, you love it, and it is definitely all yours!

  6. I did the big chop March 2012, and my husband hated it. He has always liked long straight hair. My natural hair is curly and looked so different from my permed hair which lead my husband to ask more questions. My husband’s main question was why did I want to be natural. I said I was tired of burns and damage from perms, and I wanted my hair and scalp to be healthy. One year later my husband loves my natural hair better than my permed hair. He is truly amazed that natural hair can be soft and curly without chemicals and hot curling. I loved my hair from day one, and his acceptance and understanding showed me that he love me enough to embark on this journey with me.

  7. My husband loves my natural hair more than I do. He is anxious for me to try new styles. I feel safe with my braids, but I know I must try something new and I’m sure I will now that I have ventured onto your site Ms. Alicia! Thank you!

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